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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a fruit that won't get married? A Cantaloupe."
Next Joke
"Not to brag but my son's friend said ""Your dad looks hot"" when I was cleaning the pool. She followed with ""Is that heat stroke?"" but still."
"Is it possible to divorce someone twice? Not re-marry and divorce again, but divorce twice so you're completely done. Like, extra divorced."
"Why shouldn't you date a tennis player? Because love means nothing to them."
"My wife is much happier with a beer inside her. I just wish she'd drink it afterwards."
"A man got a cat and walked to his wife and said ""so what do you think of the cow ?"" His wife said that's a cat. The man said ""shh I'm talking to the cat"""
"Today I forgot to comb my hair, but people thought I was nice. Then, nothing of consequence happened. So today was every Michael Cera movie."
"I waited a long time for my testicles to descend When one finally did I had an inaugural ball"
"I turn 39 years old today. But they're Canadian years."
"If a Nun changed sex... Would that make them a tran-sister?"