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Joke of the Day
"I turn 39 years old today. But they're Canadian years."
Next Joke
"Thanks, Santa! I totally wanted a hangover!"
"[Alligator feeding at the zoo] Me: Hey let me do it Keeper: 1st time? M: Heck no *alligator takes me by the arm* I WAS JUST BRAGGING SAVE ME"
"69ER'S GET SACKED Q: Why is 88 better than 69? A: Because you get ate twice."
"""A father says to his son,"" ""It's going to be tough in this recession."" The son says ""Tell me something I don't know."" The father says ""Your mum's ass can take my whole fist."""
"[2 dogs eating dinner] ""u know Sharon, that life insurance policy u found me is great"" [stops chewing] ""why does this taste like chocolate"""
"The best thing about having a penis... is sharing it with people who don't."
"Doc: have you been displaying any symptoms of vampirism? Me: I've been.. Doc: ... Me: ... Doc: ... Me: ... Doc: ... Me: Coffin. Doc: get out"
"*gets handed a Mario Kart controller at a party* I don't know guys, I've never done this before. *straps on monogrammed driving gloves*"
"How come Justin Bieber doesn't like to shop at Sports Authority? Because he likes Dick's."