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Joke of the Day

"There is a clerk at the butcher shop. He is 5'10"" and wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weight? Meat."

"What do you call a deer with one good eye? A good idear..."

"That boy is so dirty the only time he washes his ears is when he eats watermelon."

"Me: Boss our sales are really going updog. Boss: You mean up? Me: No, updog. Boss: What's updog? Me: Not our sales. We're bankrupt."

"There's a good chance Dr. Phil has jerked off to the Domino's Pizza Tracker."

"I got sacked from a job for smiling too much... I said, ""If I can't smile on the job, get yourself another undertaker."""

"I just dropped my phone, is everyone okay?!"

"What did the doctor give the Asari with an STD? Anti-biotics"

"How can you tell someone's a navy seal? they'll tell you in their novel."

"I wanted to tell a joke about the fluoride in our water making us complacent But I just don't care"