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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? Bird flu you get tweetment, swine flu you get oinkment."

"Have you heard that Eskimos eat whale meat and blubber? Well, you'd blubber too if you had to eat whale meat."

"My life would be so much better if I could use a smokebomb to conceal my escape after being turned down by a girl."

"Gardens (only clean joke I know) Why don't you tell secrets in a garden? Because the corn have ears, the potatos have eyes and the beanstalk."

"I hear they designed the newest iPhone to fit perfectly in your hand, right where your money used to be."

"I hope I get a watch for Christmas! Because there's no present like the time."

"Why was the piggy bank invented? To keep the jews away."

"A woman was breastfeeding on the bus today. A man looked and said ""OMG!"" That's disgusting! Looking back on it, that might not have been the best time to masturbate."

"I like my coffee like I like my women... Silent"

"I'd like to give a shout out Shout out to all the people wondering what the opposite of in is."