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Joke of the Day

"Gardens (only clean joke I know) Why don't you tell secrets in a garden? Because the corn have ears, the potatos have eyes and the beanstalk."

"You don't fully know your own strength until someone tries to pull you onto a dancefloor against your will."

"Why are feet so funny? Because they're ""heel areas"" ... I'll show myself out"

"Sometimes I think we're all going to be okay. Other times I read Yahoo Answers."

"I just sent out my daily 6am text to a random number saying ""I hit Zack with my truck. I'm going to need to use your hacksaw to cut him up."""

"Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? *She ran away from the ball.*"

"What is better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded"

"Remember, your neighbours aren't going to be attacked by killer bees on their own. You have to want it. You need to make it happen."

"Know why I make my pot brownies with chocolate laxatives? For shits and giggles."

"The police station installed ""Safe Spots"" for Craigslist sales... Which is great because I always met in a park under a tree but it always seemed so shady."