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Joke of the Day

"A woman was breastfeeding on the bus today. A man looked and said ""OMG!"" That's disgusting! Looking back on it, that might not have been the best time to masturbate."

"on the ISS... what did the American Astronaut say to the Cosmonaut? What did the American Astronaut say to the fast moving Cosmonaut? Stop Russian around."

"I like how McDonalds mixes the napkins in the to-go bag with the greasy food, so that even when I'm wiping my mouth I can get fatter."

"How many Vladimir Putins' does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they didn't Putin enough effort. Just a play on his last name, nothing more."

"Being Poor A man complains to his wife saying, ""We're so poor we can't even afford punchlines to our jokes!"" And she says..."

"How hot was that oven? That they baked you in? Because you're hotter than a freshly baked Pizza!"

"Technology.( Based on true events) My apple watch reminded me to take a minute to breathe right after my grandfather let one rip."

"Yo mama in a wheelchair and says ""You ain't gonna puch me 'round no more."""

"DAD: I invented a diaper that's also a time machine! MOM: Where do the poops go DAD: dunno! [CUT TO: A BUNKER IN GERMANY, 1942] HITLER: omfg"

"If an illegal immigrant and a child molester have a fight.. is it Alien vs Predator?"