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Joke of the Day

"Why do tampons have strings? So vampires don't burn their fingers while making tea."

"I was cooking a dish with onions in it and my friend cried. I only now realized recently that she wasn't raising that dog for food."

"What do you get when you cross pickle & deer? Dildo."

"What's a pirate's favorite letter? (Most people respond, ""Arrr!"") That's what I thought too, but it turns out their hearts belong to the 'C'."

"my mum didn't know I could make a car out of spaghetti. That was until I drove pasta"

"I feel a spree coming on. It's either shopping or killing, I haven't decided yet."

"whats an english man favourite breakfast cereal Cherry Oh's"

"If I had a dollar for every time I had sex I'd be a cheap prostitute"

"I like how we say ""vegan"" now instead of ""eating disorder""."

"Do you know anything about tapes and cd's? Do you think if i taped my dick to my forehead you could cd's nuts?"