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Joke of the Day

"KING ARTHUR: ...and that is our noble quest. REPORTER: K, great. What shape is your table? A: Um, round? But that's not really... R: Got it"

"What do you call a psychic who is neither elated or depressed A happy medium"

"My girlfriend got mahogany breast implants yesterday. I think this joke would be more funny with a punchline. wooden tit?"

"This year's Brits will always be remembered for its fabulous tribute to 'Allo 'Allo!... Featuring the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies."

"Toronto Mayor Rob Ford is in the news. He claims he found a way to bring in $50 million for Toronto. America will pay him to take Justin Bieber back."

"How do you know you're getting old? When you exit a museum, you trigger the alarm."

"I think it's time I throw away my fleshlight My masturbation is getting a little out of hand."

"Schizophrenic walks into a psychiatrists office . . . says, ""Doc, am I as crazy as he says we are?"""

"Michelin, Triangle Shirtwaist, and Brian Williams. ""Name a tire, a fire, and a liar."""

"I'm not gonna partake in this ""I hate Monday morning"" thing because I hate all work days equally."