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Joke of the Day

"Schizophrenic walks into a psychiatrists office . . . says, ""Doc, am I as crazy as he says we are?"""

"Q: What is the first thing that President Clinton says after waking up? A: ""Good morning Bill."""

"A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants... The bartender looks over and says, ""Get the fuck out of my bar, we're sick of hearing this goddamn joke."""

"Why did the music industry talent scout take a course in game programming? He thought it would help him with his hit detection."

"Showing your love used to be buying them flowers or writing a poem. Now it's just looking at them for 5 minutes without checking your phone."

"the Facebook app for iPhone"

"LPT: Name Your Hands, Instant 3some"

"You can never be too OCD You can only be *just right*."

"What's the worst possible thing to hear while you're blowing Willie Nelson? ""I'm not Willie Nelson."" David Sadaris"

"I found a bug in Madden 2015 I sacked Tony Romo, and he didn't break his collarbone."