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Joke of the Day

"5yo: I dropped my damn spoon! Me: Don't be using that word! 5yo: Is it a bad word? Me: It is.. 5yo: Ok..I dropped my damn ""food scooper""?"

"DON'T QUESTION YOUR DOCTOR A man went to see his doctor. ""You need to stop masturbating,"" the doctor told him. The man asked, ""Why?"" The doctor replied, ""Because I'm trying to examine you!"""

"Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives"

"A spokesman for Kelloggs says the company now fears the recent incident may be the work of a cereal offender."

"I love breakdancing. I don't do it... Or watch it, even. I just like it because it allows be to sell cardboard to rich white kids."

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? **[Deleted]**"

"Strawberries are like porn stars. They both have the seed on the outside."

"Did you hear? Viagra doesn't do anything for lawyers... It just makes them stand taller for a while"

"A lot of times you put up a tweet and at first it doesn't seem like it's going to do very well and then BOOM: you make 1 million dollars"

":( turn that frown upside down ):"