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Joke of the Day

"My friend died of a methamphetamine overdose the other day..... When people ask what happened I say, M E T H O.D. man"

"I'm not sure about accusing someone of wanting to get into my pants. I'd like to see him try. I can hardly get into them myself.."

"my thoughts and prayers go out to anyone at ComicCon attending a live taping of a podcast"

"I once stole a simile I made out like a bandit"

"If a man talks dirty to a woman, that's sexual harassment. If a woman talks dirty to a man, that'll be $6.50 a minute."

"My friend told me he wanted to find the electrical resistance of Jesus. I was like ""Ohm my God!"""

"What's the least spoken language in the world? Sign language."

"What did the black kid get on his SAT? Barbecue sauce"

"How did Darth Vader know what Obi-Wan was getting for christmas? He felt his presents."

"I always choose Pepsi over Coca-Cola because I prefer my soda dehyphenated."