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Joke of the Day

"If a man talks dirty to a woman, that's sexual harassment. If a woman talks dirty to a man, that'll be $6.50 a minute."

"Where are you going? ""Ice fishing"" You know you can just buy ice at the store right? ""No I mean th..."" Or just freeze some water even..."

"Why does Bruce Willis always play the bald guy?"

"My wife asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I told her I wanted to film a sex tape. I was surprised when she agreed but now it's awkward because she thought I meant with her."

"Why does Waldo wear stripes? He didn't want to get spotted."

"How did the pilot like his hotdog? Plane."

"How do you get to Shepherds Bush? Up the Shepherd's leg!"

"A fun thing to do is sit on the couch with black buttons over your eyes while your kids watch Coraline, then wait for them to notice."

"What do Nascar and a Kinko's dumpster have in common? They're both filled with white trash. -&y"

"What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits a windshield? Its arsehole."