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Joke of the Day

"Jewish woman why do jewish women only sleep with jewish men? they wont touch anything that isn't 5 percent off."

"I was out of tanning oil once, so I used PAM Cooking Spray. The tan didn't stick."

"How about a Home Alone movie where Macaulay Culkin is the dad and he leaves his kids at home because that's all he knows?"

"Why is there a 100,000 oil limit in World of Warcraft Garrisons? Because anything more than that might cause an invasion by the United States of America!"

"What's the difference between a stripclub and a circus? One has cunning stunts and the other has stunning cunts."

"Pun challenge My friend entered a pun tournament this weekend and had to submit 10 puns. When I asked if he won, he told me ""No pun in ten did"""

"I'm quitting the blueberry only diet. I haven't lost a pound and I'm getting tired of blueberry pancakes, muffins and poptarts every meal."

"I think Titanic is fake because, how do they record it when they are all dieing in the water?"

"*At a clothing store* Worker: Do you need any help sir? Me: *Mixes ""No, I'm good"" & ""No, I'm just looking""* Me:""No, I'm just good looking"""

"A scarecrow just won a Nobel prize. It was for being out-standing in his field."