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Joke of the Day

"Mommy? Does Barbie come with Ken? No dear, she comes with G.I. Joe, she fakes it with Ken."

"I saw an entire family with huge butts I guess you can say It's in their genes"

"What's the best thing about Switzerland? I'm not sure, but the flag is a big plus."

"My waiter asked, ""would you like sour cream, bacon and chives on your potato?"" ""That's a loaded question."""

"One of my terrorist friends decided to bomb our only good coffee machine in all of Yemen... Pissed as hell, he said he hates french press"

"10th anniversary So my girlfriends dad just accused me of pedophilia, she is 18 and I am 32. It ruined our 10th anniversary"

"I'm starting to think the guy that gave me directions to the train station was just talking to someone on his Bluetooth."

"What's a pirate's favourite Roman numeral? You might think it's II, but his true love be the C."

"Which is better exercise, chasing a car or running away from one? Chasing a car. After running from a car you'll just be tired, but after chasing one you'll be exhausted."

"Just like Jesus joke (NSFW) Came up with this: If I were gay and had sex with a jewish guy I'd be just like Jesus. Because I came into Jerusalem ridding on an ass."