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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless."

"At a bathroom line. ''Can I go before you? I really need to number two'' ''No, I was here before you and I need to go as well''. ''I swear I need to go more than you''. ''You're so full of shit''."

"I don't understand why people make jokes out of 9/11 Those jokes are just plane wrong"

"What computer says ""hello"" A Dell"

"North-Korean food I made North korean food for my GF. She said pizza isn't North korean. I said Shut up and eat it."

"You never get a second chance to make a first impression... ...unless you keep a stash of roofies on you at all times."

"Fuck a horse.... Enjoy a stable relationship"

"Do you know why you need two fingers for a rectal exam? For a second opinion..."

"Growing up couldn't wait to have a room of my own and do whatever I liked. So why did I end up doing the exact opposite by getting married?"

"Sometimes, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life."