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Joke of the Day

"I nearly bought a car today but had a lucky escape when I checked the fine print I discovered it had driver aids ..!"

"20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs Now we have no money, no hope, or jobs."

"A Japanese man observes his son scratching his knee. He comments, ""Itchy knee, son?"" The son replies, ""I already know how to count, Dad!"""

"Did you guys hear about the award winning farmer? Apparently he was outstanding in his field. [modified repost]"

"I can't stand people who curse. Fucking disgraceful."

"What's the definition of a narrow squeak ? A thin mouse !"

"parents, please remember to teach your children not to talk to strangers, you know how boring your children are"

"The worst is when you wake up hung over and you didn't even drink the night before."

"1 in 2 in 3 in 4 in 5 doctors are babushka dolls."

"A programmers wife tells him to buy groceries She says buy bread, and if there are eggs get a dozen. He came home with twelve loaves of bread"