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Joke of the Day

"""They say penguins can't fly. Can't? Or never got the chance?"" I whisper in the penguin's ear, shoving him out of the aircraft."

"My Dermatologist makes $60 a Pop !"

"Why did the chicken double-cross the road? To change sides."

"Did they play tennis in ancient Egypt? Yes the bible tells how Joseph served in Pharoah's court!"

"*goes in fridge; makes sandwich* *grabs beer* *sits on couch; turns on TV* Him: Ma'am, this is an open house Me: I need the full experience"

"KFC Team Member: Anything else? Me: More gravy please, I'll say when [several hours later] KFC TM: WE'RE GONNA DROWN M: I didn't say when"

"[on death row] ""what would you like for your last meal?"" ""A McRib"" ""McRib doesnt come back for 6 more mont...oooh well played!"""

"Where does Putin negotiate? The Crimea River"

"I've recently started to play Dark Souls III It only took me 2 hours to beat the torturial."

"The longer a Facebook photo of someone's kid goes unliked, the stronger I become."