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Joke of the Day

"So apparently RSVP'ing back to a wedding invite 'maybe next time' isn't the correct response."

"What medical specialty will start to experience large fluctuations in income from payers? Eurology"

"There are TV shows literally every day so no I am not free to hang out ever."

"5: I went potty. Me: Did you remember to wipe this time? 5: No. Me: Why? 5: It's faster my way. I don't know how to counter that argument."

"Is Google a woman? I can't even finish a sentence without it coming up with other suggestions."

"So an Irishman walks out of a bar ... no seriously, it can happen. (seen in an Irish pub)"

"I swear my toddler yells at me in Vietnamese"

"Whats the difference between a blond and a mosquito? If you slap a mosquito it will stop sucking!"

"The George Dubya Bush Presidential Library burned down... All three books were destroyed. Two of em hadn't even been coloured in yet."

"They say not to go to the grocery store when you're hungry, but I ran out of food and few days ago, and it's just getting worse. :("