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Joke of the Day

"""It's gonna taste really good."" - excerpt from the guide What To Expect When You're Expecting Pizza"

"Q: How do you kill a circus? A: Go for the juggler."

"Humans pretend to be smart but we still look at the ceiling when we hear a noise upstairs like we're suddenly gonna have x-ray vision"

"Chewbacca started a website that exposed all the secrets of the Empire, it's called Wookieeleaks."

"Why was the condom angry? It was pissed off."

"What do you say when you are comforting a grammar nazi? There, Their, They're"

"When I go to the bar I get a Lindsey Lohan. It's a Shirley Temple with a lot of coke"

"I tried using self deprecating humor But I'm not any good at it."

"Why do people carry around umbrellas? Because they can't carry themselves"

"To all the ""cougars"" out there, shame on you for not calling yourselves ""Thundercats"" shame. on. you."