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Joke of the Day

"Tits are like Legos I'm always stepping on them."

"Unless: -The house is on fire -The cops are about to kick down the door -Or you're ordering food Do NOT talk to me while I'm on the toilet"

"I just got a great deal on a Ray Rice jersey The price couldn't be beat"

"What's a closeted Isis fighter's favourite occasion during the year? ram a man"

"Hell yeah I want your website to play music without warning or a mute button!"

"How to make your God proud? By abusing his names in other languages."

"Soo.... baltimore. Probably not the best idea to burn down a cvs pharmacy. The entire city needs a chill pill."

"I will step on an old woman's face to get to my computer to thumbs down a bad song on Pandora."

"You should've seen my bad spelling. That shit was [sic]."

"I went in to a pet shop. I said, ""Can I buy a goldfish?"" The guy said, ""Do you want an aquarium?"" I said, ""I don't care what star sign it is."""