120912

Joke of the Day

"Rent in the city is getting ridiculous. I pay $775 to live in a barista's beard. I have 3 roommates."

"Why did the cannibal go to KFC? He heard it was finger licking good."

"It was my first time, I was nervous The first time I had sex I was really nervous, so I imagined my partner naked, it didn't help."

"I had a job circumcising elephants. The pay wasn't much, but the tips were huge!"

"Good cop: We know it was you. Just confess. Murderer: I didn't do nothin' Breaks the fourth wall cop: Your name in this tweet is Murderer."

"Mad props to New York for dressing up as New Orleans for Halloween."

"Do I have a girlfriend!? Are you kidding me? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TOILET PAPER THOSE THINGS USE!?"

"Did I ever tell you about how I once dated a stripper named Cake? She always used to let me have it and eat it, too."

"What did German kids get for Christmas during th holocaust? Easy Bake Ovens"

"How many redditors does it take to send a letter? Three. One to post it, and two to repost it."