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Joke of the Day

"Why do donut shops not hire security? Because Cops go there willingly. Free security and protection."

"What's the least spoken language in the world? Sign language."

"Me: OMG I feel amazing! WebMD: sounds like cancer!"

"Next week I'm gonna have an MRI scan. I'll finally find out if I have claustrophobia."

"I need to give my cat an abortion But every time I throw her down the stairs she just lands on her feet."

"She died doing what she loved: Running for her life in the wrong direction."

"What has a mouth but never speaks, Has a bed but never sleeps, And has legs but never walks? &nbsp; A mute, crippled insomniac"

"My doctor was concerned about my health My doctor was concerned about my colon's health and wanted two stool samples, but I couldn't give two shits."

"What do you call it when a hedge fund manager loses his job to a Watson inspired AI built by IBM? It doesn't matter. We'll all be laughing too hard to care."

"just putting the facts out there 2 educate. personally know a guy who tried pot one time and he was mauled to death by a bear years later"