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Joke of the Day

"I really can't walk the walk or talk the talk but if you need someone to drink the drink, I'm your man."

"Wrinkle Cream My nine-year-old daughter walked in while I was getting ready for work. ""What are you doing?"" she asked. ""Putting on my wrinkle cream,"" I answered. ""Oh,"" she said, walking away. """

"Joke about a psychic and water Something something clairboyant Can't be bothered to actually write a joke but the essence is here."

"I read this morning there's a test to find out if you have early stage Alzhimer's. And then this morning I read that there's a test to find out if you have early stage Alzhimer's."

"I raise the bar when it comes to lowering standards."

"Everybody's getting Oreos with their Christmas cards this year. Related: Don't eat cookies while you're licking envelopes."

"What do you call a bunch of people buying non-brand name ice skates? Cheapskates getting cheap skates"

"How does a black women know she's pregnant? When she pulls put her tampon the cotton I'd already picked"

"ISIS pickup line Girl are you a suicide vest? Cos I'd like to be inside you"

"How many scientists it takes to change a lightbulb? None *et al.*"