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Joke of the Day

"You can only say, ""WTF?"" so many times a day, until you just decide to start drinking."

"I was gonna go to the gym today... ... But it didn't work out."

"A missing 3YO was found inside a bowling alley claw game. After many failed attempts to get him out, police just settled on the turtle doll."

"Negative Million Dollar Idea: devote a large portion of your 20s and 30s in pursuit of vague creative oriented career ambitions."

"THERAPIST: what's wrong? WIFE: he always narrates real life- ME: she complained WIFE: see! ME: she exclaimed WIFE: ME: she was speechless"

"I liked that new movie about the masseuse. It had a happy ending."

"Every time I read news about ISS Im like what did ISIS do this time... half way through the article... how the hell did they get to space. Oh wait damn you dyslexia!! edit: joke"

"Why was tigger looking down the toilet? Because he was looking for Pooh! www.onebadjoke.com"

"6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down."

"I like my coffee like my slaves Free"