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Joke of the Day
"""When I hand-write an entire page it looks like I've had a stroke by paragraph two."""
Next Joke
"I like my women like I like my soup... With most of the skin removed."
"Don't worry, officer, this isn't my blood. Really, stop searching me! I feel fine!"
"10 years ago, if you would've told me that I'd be having a daughter at 28, I would've murdered you for being a robot from the future."
"""I'd like a nice stiff entendre please."" - Want me to make it a double? ""I'll just take it as it comes."""
"Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer The first cannibal asks ""Does it taste funny?"" The second cannibal turns around and says ""nope."""
"What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup? A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it."
"What I lack in social skills, I make up for in hiding-from-people skills."
"A foolproof way to get a woman's phone number is to hit her car."
"What was the last thing to go through Princess Diana's mind before she died. The windshield."