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Joke of the Day

"When I asked for screenshots, I meant using the PRT SCR button, not shaky pictures of the screen with your phone, you idiot."

"Why is Karl Marx a fan of the Galactic Empire? He was born ina 1818."

"A person is drowning and yelling ""HELP I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SWIM"" A bystander tells him to shut up because he doesn't know how to swim either but he's not freaking out about it like the guy drowning."

"Where do banana slaves go to work? Plantaintions."

"A man started to throw words beginning with 'th' at me I dodge this, then and there but I didn't see that coming - Tim Vine"

"Two elephants jumped off a cliff....... BOOM BOOM!"

"What's Jay-z's favorite store? Bed, bath and Beyond-ce."

"Well, that escalated quickly! http://imgur.com/Sjrxt6L"

"My minivan is always rocking, but it's usually because I'm trying to smack one of the kids in the backseat while I drive."

"Why did the sand dune blush? Because the sea weed"