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Joke of the Day

"At what age do you tell your kids that the UN isn't real"

"What happens when you step on an oily asian? Better not say. I feel like I'm already treading on a slippery slope."

"Have any of you heard back from D yet? DEEZ NUTZ HAHA GOT EM"

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate his food before it was cool."

"How do you confuse an idiot? 78."

"Can you identify yourself Police officer: ""Can you identify yourself, sir?"" Driver pulls out his mirror and says: ""Yes, it's me."""

"I got my hair cut this morning and my wife still hasn't said a thing about it. omg, I'm so mad right now I can barely breathe."

"Choose a major you love and you won't have to work for a day in your life Because that major probably has no jobs (not an original)"

"I don't like to brag about going to expensive places, but I just went to the gas station."

"A hurricane is going to hit the east coast? Are you Joaquin?"