91109
Joke of the Day
"I don't like to brag about going to expensive places, but I just went to the gas station."
Next Joke
"MATH PROBLEM: If you give half of your apple to a friend, what do you have? ME (through tears): A...a friend"
"What's the easiest thing to lift with a forklift? A palette."
"I didn't have a condom last night, so I used a sock... She wouldn't stop complaining about cotton mouth."
"The church across the street opened a new Jesus-themed ferris wheel. Their accountant told me they needed it to turn a prophet."
"What does Mexican binary code consist of? Zeros and Juans."
"My handwriting has gotten pretty bad... I am the most illegible bachelor in my hometown!"
"""Go left at the chopsticks in the road"" - Chinese directions"
"Me: What kind of stupid phone you got there? Him: Windows phone Me: Oh [takes it and lobs it out the window] Yes it is"
"What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scotsman? The Rolling Stones sing ""Hey You! Get off of my cloud!"" A Scotsman shouts ""Hey Mcleod!! Get off of my ewe!"""