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Joke of the Day

"I think I just figured out the name of the modern day Thieves Guild. EA"

"George R.R. Martin finished Winds of Winter!"

"My grandfather lost his tongue during WW2 He never talks about it."

"Why do female zombies have such a terrible sex life? Because whenever they shout, ""I want you inside me."" all of the guys run away."

"What's the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand"

"What do Far Cry 4 and The Big Lebowski have in common? I hate the fucking Eagles, man!"

"How does a guy prove he's tough? He jogs home after his vasectomy. . Fairly old, vasectomies may not be so bad any longer."

"Why would an upright vacuum cleaner with no wheels make a better President than Hillary Clinton? Well, they both suck and have trouble moving forward, but at least the vacuum has a handle on it."

"how do you keep a stupid, boorish, unnatractive, and uneducated person hanging?"

"Hi welcome to Hollister, would you like a flashlight?"