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Joke of the Day

"how do you keep a stupid, boorish, unnatractive, and uneducated person hanging?"

"A blond goes to the doctor Blonde: Doctor my skin is very smooth and fair, what should I do before going to sleep? Doctor: Lock the door"

"PEOPLE WITH CHRONICALLY MOIST HANDS: When you have dry lips, rub them on your palms. I call it Lip palm. It's free."

"I said I don't want to talk to you, I didn't say ignore me. WOMEN"

"Rules for meeting a puppy: 1 be cool 2 pet it 3 do not steal it 4 stop running from the owner 5 put it down 6 this isn't worth jail time"

"Hollywood should remake ""Freaky Friday"" between a priest and a scientist. The Title should be ""Converting the Masses"""

"If anyone asks, we met at a bible study."

"My rap name is When i$ Lunch"

"Send message without subject? Yes, Gmail. f$ck off."

"Mom is coming to town. I get three full days of mouthing apologies to waiters."