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Joke of the Day

"Why do female zombies have such a terrible sex life? Because whenever they shout, ""I want you inside me."" all of the guys run away."

"When it comes to making jokes about heart palpitations I never skip a beat"

"I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance By putting it into reverse and fleeing the scene of the accident"

"[On a date at a restaurant] So this is nice huh? ""Yea,uh, who's that?"" *Dad is breathing on the window and writing 'VIRGIN' in the steam*"

"What do you call a man with a colander on his head? COLIN! Duh!!!"

"What does a dyslexic programmer say after a magic trick? Da-Ta!!"

"Elderly man gets his prostate checked As the Dr. Checks with out hesitation the elderly man asks Sandusky that you."

"I am kinda scared of 2015 because 2+0+1+5=8. The exact number of nipples Hitler would have if he had 6 more nipples."

"Why couldn't the orphan watch the movie? Because it was PG"

"The next time somebody complains about millennials, maybe remind them which generation linoleumed over all those beautiful hardwood floors."