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Joke of the Day

"wife *resting after surgery* me wife me [holding flowers and a Transformers birthday balloon] They didn't have any that said ""Get Well Soon"""

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get some chicks. (nephew made this joke, he's 5 years old :o)"

"rumours - Moishe, when you're not at home, the neighbors are spreading rumors about you! - Oh, when I'm not at home, let them even beat me!"

"Why did the janitor take early retirement? Because he realized that grime doesn't pay."

"My swimsuit told me to go to the gym today but my sweatpants were like nah girl you're good."

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh Ten tickles"

"Next time you let someone here affect your real life, tell a stranger ""I'm mad at some online person I've never met"" then let them punch you"

"In six years, people will be able to have cybernetic eyes installed in the back of their head... ...because hindsight is 2020."

"What do you think Jesus' favorite gun would be? A nail gun"

"What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Lean beef."