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Joke of the Day
"We often criticize pedophiles... but they, at least, drive slowly near schools."
Next Joke
"I thought about getting two pets and naming them One and Two. So when One dies, I'll still have Two."
"The grocery store employees who stock the milk from behind the coolers don't like it when you grab their hands just to see if they're clean."
"I'm 23 years old Truly in my prime"
"Your girlfriend is so good in bed but can't do house chores. When your relatives complain you be like ""You guys don't know her very well"""
"How is Ellen Pao so good at driving Reddit into the ground? I thought Asian women couldn't drive ಠ_ಠ"
"I got a new couch... ...wasn't sure how comfortable it would be, but sofa so good!"
"Did you hear about the Iranian who punched a guy at the soccer game? Well, the Shiite hit the fan. Sorry if it's a repost. :p"
"The ""Personal life"" section of my Wikipedia article is actually pretty accurate. It's non-existent."
"Why did Tiger Woods parents name him Tiger? Because he's half Thai, half African American. (Get it? It's funny cuz racisim.)"