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Joke of the Day

"The grocery store employees who stock the milk from behind the coolers don't like it when you grab their hands just to see if they're clean."

"Someday astronauts will land on the sun .... Im hoping they're smart enough to do this at nighttime when it's not as hot"

"In history we were asked to give our opinion on the representation of slaves in the United States in the 18th and 19th centuries... I gave it a 3 out of 5"

"I just want a man who'll drag me to the bedroom, throw me on the bed & do dirty dishes while I take a nap. Is that too much to ask for?"

"Rabbits who hang out in indie pet stores are hopsters."

"Q: How is Saddam like Fred Flintstone ? A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble."

"Why are there so many female archaeologists? Because women love digging up old shit."

"Saw a guy masturbating on the bus today... Where does he get off?!? (credit to Hampton Yount)"

"What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob."

"Why did the young boat dock before it was ready? Pier Pressure"