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Joke of the Day

"If you're looking for candy corn, look no further than my trash can."

"Just watched a commercial...How is it possible that the side effect for asthma medication is shortness of breath?"

"The American education system. That's it. That's the joke."

"-""I was the girl that hated you back in high school."" -""I'm sorry, can you be more specific?"""

"I knew this guy who was so dumb... he saw a road sign that said, ""Disney Land Left"", so he turned around and went home."

"Yes, you take my breath away... But so does a brisk walk, or the sight of an ugly baby. Don't be so flattered."

"""I saw a really nice chair yesterday."" - if your grandma tweeted"

"What's brown and sticky? A stick!"

"I hate buying from cannibals it always costs an arm and a leg."

"What is Hitler's favorite reality show? The Amazing Race"