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Joke of the Day

"Listen, I might be 320 pounds but my doctor says I have the heart of a 20 year old athlete. Thank god he'd signed a donor card."

"How do you know your girlfriend is too young for you? You have to make airplane noises to put your dick in her mouth"

"What discovery was the garden's mathematician excited about? AVOCADO'S NUMBER!"

"What do you call 5 people sitting In two rows? Tetris"

"Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar... ...and he doesn't."

"Why do men die before their wives? - They want to."

"What do you get when you throw a Canadian down a flight of stairs? An apology."

"What's that? ""It's my pet rock."" Why does it look sad? DWAYNE JOHNSON: I'm hungry."

"Studies have shown... (NSFW) 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape."

"I was listening to music and dropped my computer into the ocean... Guess now it's A Dell Rolling in the Deep"