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Joke of the Day

"I wish people who take selfies or make amateur porn would clean up their room first."

"Her: I'm leaving you Me: Because of the ancient Roman literature puns? Her: Yah Me: But Aenid you"

"My grandma said the Internet has completely ruined people's ability to communicate properly. I told her she didn't know fuck about shit."

"My friend was writing checks that his butt can't cash... it's because his butt didn't have a valid id"

"People say I don't have what it takes Yeah, because every time I get it, it takes it."

"I saw someone try to park a car for about 10 minutes. I didn't see the driver so I'm not going to assume what gender she was."

"How do you even get a permit to build a city on rock and roll?"

"If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?"

"Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?"

"Thanks for sharing your moon with me on Instagram. We don't have a moon where I live."