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Joke of the Day

"*fart noise* ME: it was your dog. I swear! GIRL: my dog died last year you liar GHOST DOG: theres no way she's gonna sleep with you now lmao"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? Garbanzo beans were never the subject of bad puns."

"I was in bed with my two girlfriends this morning.. How do you start a rave in Africa? Pencil. Am i doing this right? ( sorry for bad English I'm from Wales)"

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? One but he must consult the DSM-IV."

"What do you call an 8 day long blowjob? Hanukkah Lewinski"

"A lesbian tried to hit on me today, so I let her know that I was straight. She told me, ""Spaghetti is straight too, till it gets wet"""

"Why did the baker have brown hands? Because he needed a poo. (As in, kneaded a poo.)"

"How does an accountant relieve his constipation? He works it out with a pencil"

"Ebay is way to hard to use I searched for lighters, and all I got was 71,274 matches."

"I bought a book yesterday: ""101 Uses For Binary"". However, when I got home I was very disappointed to find it only contained five."