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Joke of the Day

"Why did the baker have brown hands? Because he needed a poo. (As in, kneaded a poo.)"

"What do you get when you suck all of the Botox out of Madonna? Betty White."

"I came here to kick ass and chew gum... And I've got new, longer-lasting Stride, so we'll be here for a while."

"A: My dog had a nose surgery - B: How does he smell? A: Terrible!"

"I wanted to date a girl once... but as a server admin I couldn't come out of my shell."

"Adulting so well today. Managed to make the bed while i was still in it. Now to figure out how to get out, without messing it up."

"Why is Shield Commander Nck Fury upset With another eye missing he can't see a thing. He has officially become *Removes sunglasses Blind Fury"

"Double standards are not fair! When miley cirus gets naked and licks hammers its beautiful and artistic, but when I do it its weird, creepy and I get a life time ban from Ikea."

"A Mexican with a raging erection walks into a wall. What part hits the wall first? The lawnmower."

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapus"