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Joke of the Day

"Why did the snail cross the road ? It is not clear yet , let it cross the road first. Update : It has been confirmed that it was to meet the Chicken who crossed the road earlier."

"I tried to kill a spider by drowning it in douche and now it keeps picking fights with me on social media"

"""Is Pepsi OK?"" - World's worst drug dealer"

"A: Took my temperature today. B: Oh really? A: No, rectally."

"Female praying mantises bite the heads off males while mating, so if your mantis boyfriend shows up without a head, he was cheating on you."

"Why is santa's sack so big? Because he only comes once a year. Like most jokes on this thread this is stolen, not being a shitcunt and taking credit..."

"I just couldn't stop watching the video about mechanically joining metal... It was riveting."

"Husband got excited thinking I was touching myself under the covers but I was just actually just opening a Kit Kat I didn't wanna share."

"My doctor prescribed me viagra and ex-lax today. Now I don't know if I'm coming or going."

"Teacher: Why are you picking your nose in class ? Pupil: My mother won't let me do it at home !"