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Joke of the Day

"Anyone else wake up in a grass skirt and coconut bra?"

"Why didn't the NSA request AT&T's phone records? Because they can't monitor all those dropped calls!"

"Friend: ""Did you bring condoms?"" Me: ""No need. If I'm drunk enough to talk to a girl, I'm way too drunk to get it up."""

"Why doesn't Mexico have its own Olympic team? Because all those who can run, jump, or swim are already in the US."

"I run a nonprofit organization that helps keep homeless substance abusers warm during harsh winters. It's called Snuggies for Druggies"

"Who likes wet cock and hates soggy cereal? A chicken with a water fetish."

"What do you do if your partner starts smoking? Slow down. Use lube."

"the best part about arguing with family make up sex"

"Kanye West demanded everyone to stand while giving a eulogy, didn't go through with it because Some asshole in a coffin didn't feel like standing."

"Have you heard the joke about the roof? No? Well, I guess it went over your head! I'll kill myself now."