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Joke of the Day

"How did Helen keller's parents punish her? Put a plunger in the toilet"

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"Which is more threatening? A big sword or a small sword? The small sword - it's a little rapier"
"I'm surprised more people didn't know about the NSA spying programs I mean most of our computers are labelled ""Intel"""
"Damn shame some of ya'll will get on twitter to say Goodmorning before even brushing your teeth. #mustymouthtweet"
"Who do you call when you need a dock fixed? A docktor."
"What is the difference between ass-kissing and brown-nosing? Depth perception."
"What does an American call a Canadian Dollar? A quarter."
"Q: Which is the most courteous State in the US? A: Conetiquette"
"If a picture frame doesn't have the word ""memories"" written on it in giant cursive letters, how do I know what I'm looking at?!"
"I spent the night on a 4th dimensional alien ship. Surprisingly the surroundings were very familiar. Except in the bathroom they had a glory cube."