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Joke of the Day
"Wife. I'm going to bed. Me. Nooo! Don't leave me alone with the fridge."
Next Joke
"It's my mom's personal mission in life to save me 20% on all my purchases by clipping out and giving me every coupon known to mankind."
"Three people I never mess with:n1- PMSing women.n2- Truck drivers.n3- PMSing truck drivers."
"Whenever I hear someone died of natural causes, I think, ""Wait a minute. I have that."""
"Why did the University of Oklahoma researcher stay awake every night? He was trying to find a cure for insomnia."
"Are you looking for work spreading the word of Jesus? Because I can offer you the missionary position."
"Rand Paul's debate strategy has been leaked. He's going to filibuster the GOP debate."
"Two parallel lines match on tinder But they never meet."
"I just pretended to be on my phone in the elevator and then my phone rang. I'm going to close up shop emotionally for the day"
"A guy goes to a $5 lady of the night... ... and he gets crabs. So the next day, he goes back to complain. And the woman says, ""Hey, it was only $5. What did you expect, lobster?"""