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Joke of the Day

"I can't have kids CUZ the second they disrespect me hooomaaagaww I would throw a child out a window"

"What do you call a black brick with three holes in it? A polish bowling ball."

"What did one snowman say to the other snowman? I smell carrots too."

"A person has to have a warm heart and a cold beer."

"When did you find out Santa wasn't real? For me it was when I noticed he had the same birthmark on his cock as my uncle."

"You don't love me? Don't worry, the first step is denial."

"Whats the most confusing day in Detroit? Fathers day."

"A female contestant is on Wheel of Fortune. ""Give me a D"" she says. ""She wants the D"" Pat Sajak says & then high fives the camera man."

"What's the difference between a fraternity and a gang? Gangs don't have to pay for friends."

"With only one plug in this hospital room it's not looking good for Nana's respirator if my phone battery dies and I have a good tweet."