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Joke of the Day

"What did one snowman say to the other snowman? I smell carrots too."

"I tried on a Trojan Magnum...its really hard to breathe in those things."

"ME: I need to pee really bad TEACHER: can you hold it? ME: probably not. my hands aren't very good at retaining liquid"

"Relationship status: my period comes more often than I do."

"My Girlfriend is Like the square root of -100 A perfect ten, but completely imaginary."

"Two months ago my best friend took off with my wife. And god damnit, I miss him."

"""What should we put in the middle of this mall?"" How bout some chairs? ""That idea sucks"" A little pond to throw money in? ""Oh hell yeah"""

"What's Pharma Bro's favorite musical? Rent."

"The greatest trick Facebook ever pulled was to convince the world we actually want to keep in touch with people we went to school with."

"How can you tell if a woman is bi-polar? She works at two different strip clubs."