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Joke of the Day

"I want a house I can drive my car in You could drive from vroom to vroom."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay strip club Knock! Knock! *who's there?* The chicken."

"I was trying to recall what size shirt to get my friend the psychic, then I remembered.....medium, of course."

"[date] Clark Kent: I propose a toast *they take their glasses off the table* Lois Lane: omg it's Supertable!"

"What's the difference between a tuna, a piano, and a tub of glue? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano tuna."

"What do you call an Italian without arms A speech impediment!"

"Hey you hear about that gay midget? Yeah, he came out of the cupbard."

"My wife used to be a nun... But I got her out of the habit."

"Have you heard? McDonalds is partnering with Nintendo and Niantic! Prepare for trouble And make it a McDouble"

"Why wasn't Hamlet sad when his girlfriend drowned? He was more of a necrOpheliac anyway."