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Joke of the Day

"If anyone asks, I'm drinking all this wine to collect corks for a pinterest project."

"I was asked by a feminist how I viewed lesbian relationships I guess in HD was not the answer she was expecting."

"What is purple and commutes? An Abelian grape!"

"I assume every Chinese tattoo I see stands for ""This was a mistake."""

"How does an abstract artist paint? They wipe their ass with canvas."

"Why are cliffhangers always hated?"

"The other day, I went to www.conjunctivitis.com ... Now *that's* a site for sore eyes..."

"Pro Tip: Don't EVER tell a 10yr old boy that you don't ""get"" X-Men. Because. They. Will. Explain. It."

"I don't know what it is that makes you stupid but whatever it is it works."

"So I studied abroad in college... She never called me back though."