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Joke of the Day

"The concepts of ""History"", ""Discovery"", and ""Learning"" should be embarrassed by each of their respective Channels."

"[Commercial] *Camera focuses on a man choking on a whole apple* Narrator: ""If only there was a better way?"" [On Screen Caption] TEETH"

"Lovers decided to commit suicide. The boy jumped first. The girl did not. From that day, started the concept of...Ladies First. @Laugh_Riot"

"Damn girl, are you an alarm clock? Because you were a good idea last night, but now I just want you to shut the fuck up."

"Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: A kangaroo stuck in a tree."

"Sex with a girl is like going to Six Flags I'd have to wait in line for an hour and a half and when it was finally my turn I wasn't big enough to get on the ride."

"Which professional tennis player masturbates the most? Andy Rawdick"

"What do you call a trapped fly in a frying pan of stir fry? Your mum"

"I told god a Holocaust joke. He didn't laugh. after a moment of awkward silence, I said: ""Well I guess you should have been there""."

"I'm going to a costume party as jesus. What are some good jesus party quotes I can use?"