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Joke of the Day

"Why did the LAPD leave the Dodger game early? They wanted to beat the crowd."

"Pros are good and cons are bad, so... What's the opposite of constitution?"

"How did the roman cannibal feel about his victim? He was glad he ate her."

"*reads online that you should befriend your coworkers with some water cooler talk* ME (to coworker): So, are you into water coolers?"

"(Blows you a kiss with chip crumbs hitting your face)"

"I'm sick and tired of all the hipsters on /r/Gifs.. They're always saying things like.. ""The video was better""."

"TIFU by getting my wife the wrong Subway sandwich Oops wrong sub"

"I bought a Female Golden retriever and named her Sophia... Because she's my Golden Girl."

"Father and son talking: - Daddy, is it true that in some parts of Africa and Asia a man does not know the wife until marrying her? - Here too, my son. Here too ..."

"I bet Metallica gets really upset whenever they walk through a metal detector and it doesn't go off."