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Joke of the Day
"I bought a Female Golden retriever and named her Sophia... Because she's my Golden Girl."
Next Joke
"What would Abraham Lincoln say if he found out there was a movie about him slaying vampires? What's a movie?"
"People who talk to themselves tend to be better lovers. Did you know that? Yes, I did know that. Thank you for asking."
"Confucius say virginity like giant bubble One prick, all gone"
"I asked my mother who was her favorite child... She thought for a second and said, ""Do I have to pick one of mine?"""
"What is 12 inches long, rock hard and full of semen? The sock under my bed."
"Mcdonalds showing people doing yoga in their commercials is like George Bush having a library named after him."
"""If you get me to the next station I promise I'll never let you fall below half a tank again"" - A Memoir"
"As I stood there looking at my naked body in the mirror, I thought to myself ............I'm gonna get thrown out of ikea in a minute.."
"You wanna know the most HUMOROUS person I know? My Chiropractor, he really cracks me up"